


Alone Again, Naturally

by lil_1337



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Incredible Hulk - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Gen, References to Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-25
Updated: 2012-07-25
Packaged: 2017-11-10 18:28:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/469331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_1337/pseuds/lil_1337
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony reacts to hearing that Bruce once tried to kill himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone Again, Naturally

**Author's Note:**

> I had no intention of ever writing anything like this. That is until my daughter said “Mom, you know what I want to see a fic of?”
> 
> Italicized dialogue is directly from the movie. The rest is simply my interpretation of the scene.

_“...in case you needed to kill me, but you can't. I know. I tried. I got low. I didn't see an end so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out.”_

Bruce's words hit Tony with the force of a repulsor beam to the gut. He could count on one hand the people who truly cared about him. Not Iron Man or the personification of Stark Industries, just Tony. Of those three none of them were even close to being on his level as a scientist. That wasn't just ego talking though God knew that Tony had plenty to spare. It was an honest truth which all of them would admit to readily.

Howard Stark might have spent his life looking for Captain America, but Tony had been more interested in the elusive Dr. Banner. He was someone who spoke the same language as Tony. A variation on English that required an incredible intellect to decipher. Dr. Banner, Bruce, was a man that Tony had hoped might one day be his colleague and more importantly, his friend. The whole line of thought made him feel four instead of decades older. A sad little boy telling the teacher about his imaginary best friend. Tony hated that, the self pity inherent in that thought. It brought to the surface so many things he didn't want to think about let alone deal with.

Tony had learned quickly that there are two things in life that make you stand out so that other people either shy away or kiss your ass; intelligence and wealth. Two things that he had way more than his share of. Generosity and throwing money at any sort of people problem helped with the second, but there was no way to level the field on the first. It was like trying to communicate with someone who speaks strictly Portuguese when your only language is Mandarin. Rudimentary ideas like drink and bathroom can be expressed via gestures, but trying to move beyond that is impossible. You could mime soldering, but there was no way to discuss the properties of Gamma Rays without an understanding of certain basic principles as well as a common language for the more abstract bits.

The worst part of it was that Tony could understand where Bruce was coming from. The weight of the terrible privilege bearing down on you until it felt like you couldn't breathe. The difference was Tony was born to and trained for it. He had been taught to be responsible for others almost since birth. It was what you did when you were in the top one percent of all those things that make a person stand out from the crowd. There was a reason that philanthropist tripped off his tongue as easily as genius, billionaire and playboy. One fourth of himself was defined by giving and not just to the scientific community.

There had been times when it was too much. When alcohol was his best friend and the only coping mechanism that could get him through the night. He understood being low in a way that made his heart ache in sympathy. He also understood moving on and trying to do some of value. The effort to be good when it was an uphill struggle against everything you knew. He got it, really got it even though it was the last thing he wanted. Tony Stark the man had no trouble understanding the reasons that Bruce would consider suicide his only options. It was the child inside of him, the lost and sad little boy that wept brokenly with the knowledge that someone else he respected and admired didn't value him enough to stay.


End file.
